bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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