I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
