so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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