I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
