yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
How does it feel to date your dad?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
