So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
