don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
