kristin has been a bad kristin
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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