i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize