Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
