Don't you send me to vm
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
