What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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