This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
