I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How does it feel to date your dad?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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