Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
