So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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