so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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