I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
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I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
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I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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