I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
