it wasn't lemon gatorade
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
we made out on top of his cat.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
