Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
