You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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