ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You are a genius and a whore.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
