jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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