If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize