Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
