Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
