I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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