Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
