I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
