you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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