office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
