We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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