I look better un-naked...
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
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tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
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No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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