Where is the hickey?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
