Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
