why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
