I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
