I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
