Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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