Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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