I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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