i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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