so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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