Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Randomize
