We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
COCAINE IS GR8
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
