Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
