How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
