Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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