is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
