I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
