Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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