people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
