I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
