We're like a lot better than the average bears
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
