Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
