You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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