i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
