I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize