they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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