Can Purell be used as lube?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
