I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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