her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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